Shopping Malls Suck

From time to time, I'll provide brief commentary on topics for thought related to clothes and shopping in general. Today's rant examines one of the pillars of American culture: the shopping mall. Now with the holiday rush just having past, most of us are already aware of the common plagues of shopping; large crowds, long waits, and terrible music are just a few of the things we put up with as a society from October to January. But if you take a closer look around, you will notice a more intrinsic hierarchy that most malls are build upon, a systematic approach to separating you from your money, sinister at best. Acting as a both temple for America's middle class obsession with consumerism, and a free baby-sitting for the lower classes from ages 8 to 27, malls have an important place in our culture. Joking aside, it does seem common that the more wealthy in our society seem to shy away from malls all together, instead preferring the luxury of smaller more specialized (and personal) retailers for their shopping needs.

I will use the larger shopping mall in my area as an example for this post, although I'm certain most malls in America follow a similar pattern. In our examination of the beast, we'll start at the bottom of the barrel, the lowest of the low. These are the kiosks that inhabit the floor-space within the mall. Some will be peddling calendars with pictures of puppies,  others shoddily made jewelry or iPhone cases.

Nothing says "I love you" like an Incredible Hulk themed belt buckle. 

While most feature a depressed individual selling kitschy items to passersby, the worst offenders specifically will solicit to you as you approach, asking me to "try the new Verizon LTE whatever smartphone, bro", or asking if I'm interested in eyebrow threading. I really don't fully understand what that involves but based on my limited sewing experience, I'm going to say, no.

The next level up have managed to secure their own storefront, and thus are living the American dream: Selling framed Chinese manufactured sports memorabilia glorifying the 2004 Red Sox World Series win, or perhaps authentic Native American spirit artifacts (also made in China). These small stores pedal things that absolutely no one needs but the fact that they stay in business (in the short run at least) suggests that people actually do buy this stuff.
Also at this level are the food vendors, of which there are bound to be plenty, as the appetite for soft pretzels and mini-doughnuts is everlasting as long as shoppers are abound.

Drown your sorrows in 32oz of THIS! 

Before moving on to the larger stores, exist what may account for the majority of stores in a mall, smaller second tier shops such as jewelers, smaller boutiques, shoe stores, eyewear, etc. While most of these are not frustrating to me, some stores specifically seem to go out of their way to create an overwhelmingly disturbing image. The pulsing bass of electronic dance music, and the wafting odor of cheap perfume begin to torment the senses. A beachfront cabana juts into the store complete with a porch, shuttered windows, and a 12 foot tall poster of a shirtless male model posing seductively in tight fitting jeans. This, is marketing at its finest!

"If you pay us enough money, you might trick yourself into thinking you are attractive"

The overdone nature of the image behind these stores is what drives me away from them forever. Other than marketing to a increasingly younger target demographic, the shoddy construction of any garment procured here is certainly not worth the inflated prices asked. Yes, some people like to be brainwashed by whatever chemical they spray through computerized nozzles in the ceiling, but from the opinions I've gathered from many adherents to the traditional/preppy style, Hollister, Abercrombie, American Eagle, and Aéropostale are  OUT. I know to each his own, but that's my opinion on the matter. These stores are far too marketed and towards the wrong people. If you want to continue look like a middle school kid well into college however, shop on.

As a small diversion, are you curious to know what is approved? Perhaps one of the highest ranking in the prep-dom echelon is J.Press, who currently operate four stores, in the country. I am still waiting to find one of their items at a thrift store but that really is like finding burred treasure.

Photo from sorrentolens blog

Moving on, we have what many of us are most familiar with, the so called anchor stores. These include the big retailers such as Sears, Macy's, J.C. Penny, DSW, and similar. While I spent a good deal of time today wandering about a Macy's, I noticed just how eerily similar the store layout was to another I had been at in New York a couple weeks earlier. This is no coincidence it turns out. Most major stores such as Macy's, have highly calculated floorplans which dictate what must be where to ultimately attract the most sales.

While looking for interior photos of the store, I discovered this, a 287 page guide detailing for a specific quarter, down to the square INCH the store must be configured and how products must be arranged. 

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Included in the guide were statistics on sales volumes and other numerical values which dictate ultimately how the store is set up- to maximize profit. Reading a few pages is slightly unsettling as you would never think to realize how precisely these stores operate, and how your attention is literally drawn to specific products using flashy fixtures or in store decoration (also mandated by the manual)  

They are really into Denali

Also slightly disturbing is some of the prose used to describe the sales strategy (direct quote)

"YOUNG MEN’S $232.6 MILLION

1. Drive the Young Men’s classifications business with continued growth in Levi’s, American Rag andtrend classifications tops.

2. Exploit the Young Men’s active lifestyle business with Slade Wilder brand featuring active inspiredshorts, tees, fleece and flannel shirts.

3. Distortion of outerwear throughout Young Men’s- Levi’s and classifications, Denim collections, urbancollections.4. Launch new exclusive Sean John ready to work product."

I would really hate to be the guy who has to design all this BS...

While from time to time you can get good deals on new clothing at stores like these, it seems to always be a pretty big hassle. If a store can make a profit even when offering 50% off, that quite literally means the regular price is especially inflated. The "final markdown" price of an item is usually a pretty good indication of what it's actually worth to the store, whereas a $60 shirt can be had for less than $20 if your timing is right (and you luck out on sizing selection!)

From a cautionary standpoint, I would advise to be pretty careful with buying clothing from any generic department store, as the quality of the majority of items seems to only be deteriorating as sartorial standards decline. If you want to follow my suggestions and still shop here, stick with the tried and true basics. khakis (Dockers are fairly nice), jeans (Levi's), oxford cloth shirts (getting hard to find!), shorts, socks, and swimwear. Items that are hard to thrift or find online should be the only reason you rely on these stores anymore. A Ralph Lauren Polo is a nice item. Despite not being as great as they used to (or so it is said), it's still a quality garment. But it's not worth $60 or $70+ dollars. No f****** way. Do your self a favor and thrift these up instead, and invest that wad of cash you just saved into other areas of your wardrobe such as shoes, or whatever comes on sale from a real clothing company. Yes it will require more work, and time, and effort, but for the young frugal prep, those factors are disposable for you.

Also, most of the suits and separates sold in these stores are also rubbish. As a rule of thumb, if it has any percentage of polyester, ditch it immediately. While it may be hard to find a full suit that fits you at the ol' thrift store, you can score blazers and sport-coats and jackets at many of them for practically nothing, and this is were much of the real savings in thrifting comes in, but more on that later!


That is all I have for now... I could continue on forever, especially on the people these places attract, but maybe that will be for a future post.

 Good luck out there!